


Dust of Life

by anotherbuskitten



Category: Miss Saigon - Schönberg/Boublil/Maltby
Genre: F/M, Family, Gen, Infertility, Racism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-29
Updated: 2015-04-29
Packaged: 2018-03-26 06:50:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 857
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3841201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anotherbuskitten/pseuds/anotherbuskitten
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The thing he doesn't understand about his family is why he looks more like his uncle than either of his parents.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dust of Life

He doesn’t notice it until he starts school. His classmates look at him funny and call him names; they call him half-breed, freak and bastard.

There’s another girl with skin like his a few years ahead of him called Anh who finds him after a fight and tells him that they’re special and very lucky.  Her classmates call her ‘dust.’

That day he goes home with a bruise on his chin and scrapes all down one arm. He watches his mom’s pale skin as she soothes the cuts and sticks down fresh plasters.

After, he stares into the bathroom mirror until his eyes water; willing his skin to change colour.

/

It doesn’t come up at home and Tam tries hard not to think about the taunts at school. So the next time something happens it’s because his uncles are visiting.

It’s rare that both Uncle John and Uncle Tran are visiting at the same time so Tam is very excited when his parents tell him. Dad sighs a little at the news of Uncle Tran but doesn’t say anything.

Mom and Dad don’t really like Uncle Tran but Tam thinks he’s brilliant. Uncle John’s brilliant too but he doesn’t play with Tam as much.

His uncles and his parents all argue with each other when they’re together. Tam knows he shouldn’t eavesdrop but they never notice him and sometimes they talk about him.

This time the argument starts off differently; normally it starts when Uncle Tran asks Mom or Dad for money but this time it’s Uncle John’s request that starts the fire.

Tam doesn’t hear the whole question from his place behind the dining room door but he hears the tail end. “…and I’m sure Tam would love a brother or sister.”

He almost screams in excitement but manages to turn it into a squeak at the last second. A brother or sister? That would be the best thing ever! At the moment Anh is the only friend he’s got and she’s only going to be at school for another few years and then he’ll be on his own.

He considers bursting in to agree with Uncle John but stops when the conversation picks up again.

“He doesn’t need a sibling from one of your agencies John. There’s still a chance we’ll be able to conceive.” His Mom spits out.

“Not much of one. How long have you been trying for?” Uncle Tran sneers.

“Be quiet before we throw you out, you wastrel.” Tam doesn’t know what a wastrel is but he knows Mom sounds really cross with Uncle Tran which doesn’t seem fair seeing as he hasn’t even said much this time.

/

“Ellen!” Chris hisses at his wife.

“Don’t tell me I’m being rude Chris; you know what he is.”

“And what exactly is that?”

“Don’t turn this into your petty argument.” John steps in, “This is bigger than the three of you. I’m only asking because most of the children have found homes but the last few are still there. No one deserves to feel unwanted.”

“Do you really think we could do that for them John? The situation with Tam was completely different.”

“You are good people, with more than enough money to keep another child well looked after, and I know you both have plenty of love to go around.”

Tran lets out a huge drunken snort.

Ellen was swiftly turning red and Chris can sense the argument about to reach more extreme levels.

It had been hard to readjust to live once Tam had joined them; he had only remembered his mother for the first few months and he had never stopped feeling guilty for not explaining the situation to his son.

Despite the changes that happened he knew that Ellen adored Tam and definitely considered him her own. They both knew that one day they were going to have to explain everything to their son but were happy enough to put that off for as long as possible.

/

Ellen’s still a little in awe of Kim, who had been so young when they met and so weary and _so_ brave. Ellen understands what it’s like to love Chris but the rest of Kim’s life was a mystery to her. She hoped it would always remain so.

Sometimes at night when her husband wakes shaking and screaming, on the days when her touch and love isn’t enough and he goes to watch the sky or drink a little, she goes to find Tam and cries for his first mother.

She won’t think of him as anything but her son and she won’t ever let him feel he isn’t. She loves this child with so much and she hopes that she would be strong enough to kill or die for him but for the life of her she cannot see herself doing it the way Kim had to.

One day, she knows, Tam will understand his heritage and want to know more about his birth mother. She knows that when this day comes she will have to be the one to tell him. She knows Chris will never speak of Kim again.

/


End file.
